Every relationship is made up of my relationship to myself as I am with you and my relationship with you while I don't lose myself. It's both and. It's how I hold onto me and how I hold on to you, vice versa. How I hold on to you without losing me and how I hold onto myself without losing you. That's the dance.
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Romantic Relationships Have an Internal & External Component
Love is a verb. It's not a permanent state of enthusiasm. It's not about finding the right person; it's about being the right person.
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Love Is About Being the Right Person, Not Finding the Right Person
Love is something that you actively cultivate. You nourish it. You do things that express it that show the other person that you're thinking of them, that they're important to you, that you carry them inside of you even when they're not there. To just think it's an in or out is very, very narrow.
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With Love & Exercise, the Feeling Often Follows the Act
This is one of the hidden truths of relationships: If you want to change the other, change yourself.
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The Hidden Truth of Relationships: To Change the Other, Change Yourself
Behind many criticisms is a wish. Ask for the wish; don't give the criticism, or you will never get to wish.
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Relationship Killers: Criticism, Stonewalling, Defensiveness, Contempt, & Complacency
The temptation is to say 'How do I make my partner different?' And I say, start with the one thing you can control: 'Is there anything I can do different that is more likely to elicit a different response from my partner?' It's the one thing you can control is you. Start there.
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The Hidden Truth of Relationships: To Change the Other, Change Yourself
Lockdown, quarantine, pandemics, disasters are relationship accelerators. What it means is that when you deal with a massive global event like this, it puts you in touch with mortality ... Life is short. Life is fragile. And so you begin to rearrange your priorities. What truly matters? Who is really important? Who are the few people I'm going to make sure to stay in touch with?
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COVID-19 Lockdowns Were a Relationship Accelerator
If you ask boring questions, you will feel that people are boring.
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Interesting Questions That Breed Energy Prompt Vibrant Discussions
A relationship dances between the need for security and stability & the need for novelty and exploration and risk-taking and experiences.
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COVID-19 Quarantines Stifled the Erotic Nature of Relationships in Favor of Stability
Difficult conversations, when you get through them, you feel emboldened, you feel more trusting, and you feel more confident.
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Difficult Conversations Among Couples Build Strength
